Zazula

Back behind the table after a year away and my nervous system had… thoughts.

The thing nobody tells you about taking a break from markets (and having anxiety) is that your brain fills the gap with doubt. By the time you’re actually setting up your stall you’ve fully convinced yourself the work isn’t good enough, the display is wrong, why I am doing this to myself and how to be a human.

And then someone stops. Picks something up. Asks you about it with genuine curiosity in their eyes and suddenly you’re just talking (or yapping). No time to figure out what your face is supposed to be doing. Just two people and a shared interest in something that took you weeks to make. There is genuinely nothing like it.

I’m not the most social person but I love the idea of building your own village. And I can feel it slowly grow with every market. From my lovely friends that support me in various ways – visiting, inviting their friends, sharing on social media, bringing me coffee and vegan pies to the feeling of being held by the community of artists around me. Everyone quietly fighting the same battles, the self-doubt, the exhaustion, the is-this-worth-it spiral and still showing up, still making things, still cheering each other on between customers. And of course you, my dear followers and customers! Without you my art would slowly rot in my drawers.

Hard? Always. Worth it? Yup!

As a bonus you can see how my set up changed with every event!

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Have a nice day!